(One) Tunnel Vision

Attempting to see the right side.

Postscript in Ten Years

A part of me will always belong to you. It may no longer be relevant to say, but thank you for some of the greatest lessons of my life. I will take them with me forever, and hope one day, I can bump into you under the sun. The words I gave you are yours forever. 

Sa Huli

 

thank you.

The Dream

There is a beach with fine white sand. A high moon streaked with some red cracks. There is a house, without doors or windows. It’s open yet it’s closed. It invites with a whisper I can feel more than hear. Come here, come in. I enter and it’s beautiful. Or it feels beautiful because I can’t really remember seeing anything I can touch or hold or keep. Then the moon disappears.

It’s bright outside and I want to leave but the house without windows or doors won’t let me. Or at least it feels like that because I can never find the way out.

A glass breaks from above and I am suddenly flying, picked up by something I can’t see. Then I am dropped softly, on a clearing which becomes a long path that ends in a cliff. I walk on a bed of grass, greener than Ireland, softer than feathers. I hear waves. Sometimes I see them, most times I don’t. But I always run at this part.

And I always reach the edge of a cliff. There is nothing below. No water, no earth, nothing. It’s dark. But it looks peaceful. And I suddenly feel terrified. But I know that I want to jump. Like it’s some test I can’t afford to fail. I can’t breathe. Or maybe I forget how to, for a minute. That’s usually when I feel the warmth of your arms around my belly. And it calms me enough to wake up.

wordless

say it when it sparks
say it when it starts
say it when it soars
say it when it roars

say it when it crawls
say it when it stumbles
say it when it falls
say it when it fumbles

say it when it’s sure
say it when it’s pure
say it when it blooms
say when the dark begins to loom

say it when it happens
say it when it’s strong
say it when it sharpens
say it when it’s wrong

say it when it’s straight
say it when it’s standing
say it before the break
say it when you’re uncertain

say it when it’s right
say when you’re still fighting
say it when you’re tired
say when it’s dying

say it when it’s rough
say when you’ve given up
say it when it’s time to stop
say when you’ve had enough

say it when it’s due
say it when it’s true
say it when it’s done
say it when it’s gone

Near End

there is
my love
a kind of love
that asks for nothing in return
yet builds in the not asking
and does not destroy

there is
my love
a kind of love
that finds happiness in acceptance
that seeks no fulfillment
nor possession
no need to return
to
you are mine
and
I am yours

there is
my love
a kind of love
that waits for nothing
that knows time holds no sway
for time has ceased to be

there is
my love
a kind of love 
that just is.
steady, willfull,
able to withstand hurricanes
a love, my love,
that is a force of nature
tougher than two hearts
combined or broken
that takes nothing but lessons
binds nothing
but hope
that the next one
will be willed,
not better
but different
not greater
but wiser
that the next one
will come

there is
a kind of love
my love
that is just grateful
and breathing
and at peace