A Dark Place
My heart is drowning in a dark soup of sadness regret anger guilt. It’s a season for feeling insignificant and I am crushed by the weight of a deep fear that my life has peaked and its greatest moments all behind me. I am looking at a meaningless future filled with unbearably forgettable memories. I feel trapped in a prison of my own making unable to turn the key that have rusted beyond repair in my hand. I feel like a traitor betrayed. The tides are turning again and I am on the wrong side of the wave.
I’m exhausted. I keep trying to remember what it’s like to be passionate. My work is mediocre and I have zero desire to continue writing what I am currently writing. I loathe the work and the people involved in it. I feel bereft of joy and excitement. I am profoundly indifferent and utterly uninspired.
My tank is empty of creativity and brimming with a quiet despair.